You're not going to like my feedback very much - but please try and understand where I'm coming from. It concerns me a little that you think you've finished 2 of your 3 scenes by week 3. I assume this is true, because I can't see any evidence that you're reflecting on the strengths/weaknesses of your work. Many of your classmates have produced similarly finished scenes, but then move on to try new compositions and really wrestle with making the best work possible. While both of your scenes have merit, they are not without their problems. For example, the composition of the second image is totally symmetrical - in terms of perspective it doesn't represent the degree of complexity I'd expect from an undergraduate; where is your ambition, Naomi? You must understand that your challenge during a five week unit is not simply 'to get the work finished'. Yes, there is a lot to do - there's always a lot to do - but where's your determination to keep on learning, to take on new skills, to improve and keep improving. If you were to look at anyone's blog, the difference between your approach and their's would be obvious - at least it should be!
Why do you think you're asked to produce 100 thumbnails? Is it to satisfy the strange, sadistic whims of 'tutorphil', or is it because there is an expectation that the creative process is long and challenging and requires LOTS of ideas and possible versions, not one that is polished to completion, be it good, bad or indifferent...
For example - what is your 'visual concept'? What 'rules' have governed the depiction of this world? What research did you do? In terms of the alien vegetation alone, you produced a tiny number of studies before, essentially, colouring it in? Have you read the extracts on production design available on myUCA/Space/Unit Materials? Did you look again at the briefing presentation that deals with the notion of the 'visual concept'? I'm not sure that you did. Where's your research into the book, into the author, into the time and place of the author? You think you're doing enough work, Naomi, and I'm being very clear with you by telling you that you're not. Don't misunderstand me - I'm not suggesting that the work you HAVE produced is without merit, I'm just telling you that you've got much further to go if you want to satisfy this brief in conceptual and creative terms.
hello, Im Ruben from year 2, just pass by to give some feedback.. hope you dont mind.
You have two delicious concepts in terms of colour palette here, the moon surface, being a reddish warm and delightful place, something quite different of what we sue to look at in pictures. And the blueish cold yet creepy cave. However, I think this concepts maybe have to be pushed a bit further, and not be called final concepts at least at this stage, you still have 3 weeks to refine them.
the moon surface one at the moment is looking, quite flat, has the depth is quite minimal try to desaturate the background, or play with the blur. As things looked in the distance tend to blend with the sky tool. the moon cave definitely has to be pushed further either in terms of perspective. I really like that you incorporated the metal bridge on it, but may you should play a bit more with perspective, at the moment having central perspective is leading my eye to nothing else than the dark, where maybe other things could be put. my suggestion is maybe try a different perspective and emphasize the astronaut prison look.
Here it is!! a long post euff!!...
bear in mind that I didnt read the excerpt so maybe all my feedback is a bit pointless
Hi Naomi! Come and find me tomorrow, and we can talk about Phil's feedback and where you need to go next - also any ideas you may have now about your essay! See you tomorrow! Jackie
5 comments:
Interim Online Review 09/11/10
Dear Naomi,
You're not going to like my feedback very much - but please try and understand where I'm coming from. It concerns me a little that you think you've finished 2 of your 3 scenes by week 3. I assume this is true, because I can't see any evidence that you're reflecting on the strengths/weaknesses of your work. Many of your classmates have produced similarly finished scenes, but then move on to try new compositions and really wrestle with making the best work possible. While both of your scenes have merit, they are not without their problems. For example, the composition of the second image is totally symmetrical - in terms of perspective it doesn't represent the degree of complexity I'd expect from an undergraduate; where is your ambition, Naomi? You must understand that your challenge during a five week unit is not simply 'to get the work finished'. Yes, there is a lot to do - there's always a lot to do - but where's your determination to keep on learning, to take on new skills, to improve and keep improving. If you were to look at anyone's blog, the difference between your approach and their's would be obvious - at least it should be!
Why do you think you're asked to produce 100 thumbnails? Is it to satisfy the strange, sadistic whims of 'tutorphil', or is it because there is an expectation that the creative process is long and challenging and requires LOTS of ideas and possible versions, not one that is polished to completion, be it good, bad or indifferent...
For example - what is your 'visual concept'? What 'rules' have governed the depiction of this world? What research did you do? In terms of the alien vegetation alone, you produced a tiny number of studies before, essentially, colouring it in? Have you read the extracts on production design available on myUCA/Space/Unit Materials? Did you look again at the briefing presentation that deals with the notion of the 'visual concept'? I'm not sure that you did. Where's your research into the book, into the author, into the time and place of the author? You think you're doing enough work, Naomi, and I'm being very clear with you by telling you that you're not. Don't misunderstand me - I'm not suggesting that the work you HAVE produced is without merit, I'm just telling you that you've got much further to go if you want to satisfy this brief in conceptual and creative terms.
Come and see me for a chat, okay?
hello, Im Ruben from year 2, just pass by to give some feedback.. hope you dont mind.
You have two delicious concepts in terms of colour palette here, the moon surface, being a reddish warm and delightful place, something quite different of what we sue to look at in pictures. And the blueish cold yet creepy cave. However, I think this concepts maybe have to be pushed a bit further, and not be called final concepts at least at this stage, you still have 3 weeks to refine them.
the moon surface one at the moment is looking, quite flat, has the depth is quite minimal try to desaturate the background, or play with the blur. As things looked in the distance tend to blend with the sky tool. the moon cave definitely has to be pushed further either in terms of perspective. I really like that you incorporated the metal bridge on it, but may you should play a bit more with perspective, at the moment having central perspective is leading my eye to nothing else than the dark, where maybe other things could be put. my suggestion is maybe try a different perspective and emphasize the astronaut prison look.
Here it is!! a long post euff!!...
bear in mind that I didnt read the excerpt so maybe all my feedback is a bit pointless
OMG! phil you just commented at the same time than me!
And yes Im back again on the blogsphere!!
Hi Naomi! Come and find me tomorrow, and we can talk about Phil's feedback and where you need to go next - also any ideas you may have now about your essay! See you tomorrow! Jackie
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